[[ life, less ]]

Sunday, April 19, 2009

______________________________

do i really have to make a choice between the ones i love? why cant you accept me for who i am, love me for who i am? why is it so hard to maintain all these? does my friends really play such an important part that you mind so much? last time you dont bother at all, why does things have to become like this? saying im not the one for you and you're not the one for me. it might be true and its just because of love, we held on knowing that there wont be any happy ending. i dont have much time like you do so you're just wasting your time here and there. all i want is a stable relationship so i need not worry about this issue anymore. i need to focus on my career, my future and i have alot of goals in life. so i'll make a choice, either or neither.. i need to move on and im sure i can lead a life by myself, since i cant bring myself to end everything, then stop evolving around my life..

so you think its funny when i say im looking at a better future for the both of us? since you dont want to be part of it then leave it.. simply saying im not the one for you and someone deserve me more than you. glad that you know it. i just dont understand what's holding me back. im not the one for you then why do you still want to be with me? isnt it very nonsensical? you love me and thats why you want to be with me but you know that we wont have an outcome. arent you holding me back? just what game are we playing? why come back when i thought that i had already let you go that time? this kind of upset words can always come out from your mouth so easily- "you're not the one i wanted" oh great, im disappointed but it isnt that great anymore. you'll only be walking in circles and stay at the same spot since you never intend to do something about your life. i just dont understand why im still trying to push you to move on for greater heights. since you simply dont care about your life, why am i worrying for you?

when someone doesnt appreciates your presence and your help, no matter how hard you try to make him understand, its never going to work..

[[ cheers ]] |3:30 AM|

Saturday, April 11, 2009

______________________________

yes, im stupid. i gave you the chance to hurt me again. i will not let you hurt me like last year again so if this is your decision, i will leave. i just dun understand why you can bring yourself to be so harsh to me. if someone says he's on diet, who will ask if he wanna have dinner together again? now you blame me for not having the intention and blame me for being stupid. thanks for the second year of emotional torture. you're right, why must i be with you if im feeling so hurt everytime. so now, i choose to end it all. im not sweet to you? how good am i as a gf? so im actually all shit, you think im shit. cos you're always the one who msg me first? so you're gonna condemn me and forget bout all those i've done for you? im not sweet at all, let it be if this is what you think. its such a laughable relationship.

i was expecting the bangkok trip to be a very happy one but we're quarrelling almost everyday. showing one kind of a face to me as if i did something wrong and i deserve it while von and jackson is enjoying every single bit of each other's presence.

[[ cheers ]] |10:40 PM|