[[ life, less ]]

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

______________________________

today, i feel so down and restless and i dont know why. not in the mood to do anything, refuse to do anything. after school, i've got nowhere to go, nothing in my mind and home doesnt seem to be my choice either. its just 1pm! in the end, i went home still and i think i slept more than enough yesterday but im still tired. supposed to watch some shows but i fell asleep till evening.

now, time flies too quickly to me. in a blink of an eye its night time again. whats wrong with me? i want to do nothing and im wasting my time totally. its what i wanted eh but i dont feel happy deep inside. not even a bit of shiokness. like everything around me has gone dead, i dont feel anything. plus the same old bad dream is taking place inside my mind now, and im afraid i'll go into it again when i sleep later. its eating up my brain, its suffocating.

i missed him. badly. since sunday. maybe a lil too much that i felt breathless and maybe this is what makes me restless. too bad we stay too far apart, i cant seem to get enough of him. days ago i had a dream, that he proposed to me. and how i wish this dream would continue. i want a life with him, and never ever had such a thought to be with a particular someone so strong before. 他就像是我生命里的终点, 我的最终站, 我的投靠港. how is life going to be without him? he makes me forget what is sad and hurt. he healed all my past wounds and its been a while since i last felt how these two words are. i hope i'll never need to feel them again.

time is too short, feels like i will die tomorrow. and what if i really die tomorrow? i want to tell him i really love him alot. and till now, i'd never said i love you neither did i hear him say that too. "baby, do you know that my love for you has surpassed far more than what i feel for leon last time? and i dont want to live without you."

[[ cheers ]] |9:45 PM|